I suppose that is what we all need...
I watched Lord of the Ring III.... again today and Sam, as always, impressed me.
Isn't that what we all need? A friend who doesn't give up on you and when you are to tired to fight they will fight for you, and when you are to tired to walk they will carry you and when you are to tired to try they will try for you.
That is the kind of friend that I need right now.
My dad is ill, he has cancer and will be having a surgery next week. On the upside is that they caught it early so the surgery don't be that invasive.
He called me this morning and broke the news to me. He also said that if he would die, God forbid, he would count on me to keep the family together... I hope I'll find the strength to do that. My dad has always been the stable and never changing part of my life. He has always said to me that everything is going to be fine and he has always believed in me. We don't always have to talk, with my dad silence is ok.
All this makes Dr C and his party seem kind of small. I'll do the party since I have promised him but that's it. Nothing more I have bigger things to focus on right now. I haven't told him about my dad since I really don't think it is any of his business nor is it his problem. What I need is someone who says that everything is going to be fine and a shoulder to cry on...
Take care
/E
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Remember the bad times...
Dr C called me this morning. He not only wanted to invite me to his housewarming - he also wants me to arrange it. Fix the food, the music, buy the booze and basically the works... He woke me up so I was caught at a weak moment so I said yes. We decided to meet this afternoon to plan it.
I went over to his place, haven't been there in a while now. As we sit down with a cup of coffee he breaks the news. He is seeing someone new and she is probably coming to the party that I am arranging. What can I say?!?! What was I supposed to say?!?!
It didn't feel like it was the right time to say "I think I made a mistake, I want you back in my life" so I smiled and asked if she knew that I "the ex-girlfriend" was going to be at his housewarming. He said it was cool so I believed him.
Right now I'm spending most of my time trying to remember the bad times and the bad things about him...Like no public displays of affection, no kisses, actually no affection at all unless in bed...
Damn, I miss him but I'll be fine. I know I will because I have to.
Now I need to look ever better at the party. I need to look my best and be a cool, calm and collected party girl.
Oh well, I'll wear my new fierce shoes and a cool dress and I'll be all that :)
I just wish I had more guts so I could tell him what I waned even if it's way too late.
Sweet dreams
Song of the day: Remember the time - Michael Jackson
I went over to his place, haven't been there in a while now. As we sit down with a cup of coffee he breaks the news. He is seeing someone new and she is probably coming to the party that I am arranging. What can I say?!?! What was I supposed to say?!?!
It didn't feel like it was the right time to say "I think I made a mistake, I want you back in my life" so I smiled and asked if she knew that I "the ex-girlfriend" was going to be at his housewarming. He said it was cool so I believed him.
Right now I'm spending most of my time trying to remember the bad times and the bad things about him...Like no public displays of affection, no kisses, actually no affection at all unless in bed...
Damn, I miss him but I'll be fine. I know I will because I have to.
Now I need to look ever better at the party. I need to look my best and be a cool, calm and collected party girl.
Oh well, I'll wear my new fierce shoes and a cool dress and I'll be all that :)
I just wish I had more guts so I could tell him what I waned even if it's way too late.
Sweet dreams
Song of the day: Remember the time - Michael Jackson
Thursday, April 27, 2006
The Call
Had a nice time yesterday drinking champagne with some friends. We had Billecart Salmon cuvee Elisabeth Salmon 1996 (rose) and Aubry Le Nombre D'Or 1998. The rose is mabsoluteufavoritete champagne, it's perfect for the summer.
Dr C called me today and invited me to his housewarming-party next Saturday. That was nice of him of course. I suggested that we would have lunch sometime next week so it seems like we are meeting on next Friday.
If I go the party I will mosdefinitelyly bring back up -> Hannah.
On the upside: I have have a job. I'll be working at a museum twice a week all through May. They have a lot of different events that I'll be in charge of - could be fun. Am also arranging a "nice event" for 22 women between 24 and 64. I don't have any more information than that and the fact that they don't want to walk much and nothing physical... I have absolutely no idea what to arrange for them.
Right now I'm dying for some microwave popcorn :)
Take care
Song of the day: Made It Back - Beverly Knight
Dr C called me today and invited me to his housewarming-party next Saturday. That was nice of him of course. I suggested that we would have lunch sometime next week so it seems like we are meeting on next Friday.
If I go the party I will mosdefinitelyly bring back up -> Hannah.
On the upside: I have have a job. I'll be working at a museum twice a week all through May. They have a lot of different events that I'll be in charge of - could be fun. Am also arranging a "nice event" for 22 women between 24 and 64. I don't have any more information than that and the fact that they don't want to walk much and nothing physical... I have absolutely no idea what to arrange for them.
Right now I'm dying for some microwave popcorn :)
Take care
Song of the day: Made It Back - Beverly Knight
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Mistakes we make
I think I made a mistake. I want Dr C back... or maybe it's just break up feelings that are coming back to haunt me.
As I see it I have two options:
- I don't tell him, we have no more contact and I'll regret it for a while but I'll get over it
- I humiliate myself by showing emotions and tell him and feel proud of what I did but risk total misery or complete happiness.
Hm, something to ponder upon....
Song of the day: Wish U where here - Jamie Foxx
As I see it I have two options:
- I don't tell him, we have no more contact and I'll regret it for a while but I'll get over it
- I humiliate myself by showing emotions and tell him and feel proud of what I did but risk total misery or complete happiness.
Hm, something to ponder upon....
Song of the day: Wish U where here - Jamie Foxx
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Mission Impossible
Had a nice weekend!
Spoke to Dr C on Friday. He seems kind of determined to help me find a job, which is nice but... I really don't know what to think.
I found a job that interested me at Handelshogskola where he did his MBA. SO I asked him for some background information about the school. He called med back after having done some serious research with a bunch of names of people I should talk to.
On Friday he called me back again after having spoken to some more people...
It's not that I don't appreciate his help - I really do but I feel a bit odd about all the effort he is putting into this. Hannah thinks I should keep "a door open" for him because she is convinced that he is doing all this to impress me enough to take him back. I do want him in my life but may be not as a boyfriend more like a friend.
After all he is a genuinely kind person and I don't think he would do anything to hurt me.
We are, however, totally different and have very different interests.
Gave in to my lower instincts on Friday and met my bootycall J ;) We had fun but some of the magic is gone now... Spent Friday night at home, mad a nice meal for myself and had some wine. Saturday fierce gal-pal Gonzo and me had brunch at Clarion hotel. A very nice brunch and we got to do some catching up. Afterwards we took a stroll around town in the sun and I found a great pair of shoes that I bought. Spring is really in the air now and it's so nice.
Saturday night was Maria's party. I got home in time to take a quick shower and change clothes. I wore my new shoes, they are slightly too big but I'll try to find some soles to put in them. The party was fun. They started out with a music quiz - an idea I intend to steal for our vacation - and then we had dinner. The food was ok, not more and not less. I was seated next to a guy I haven't met before but he was ok. I stayed until the end, as usual and then we went onto a pub but I didn't stay that long. Got home at around 2.30 and went to bed.
Today I went over to sis' place for dinner and some wine. We had a great time.
Tomorrow I'm having lunch with Ingrid EM. She is giving me an coffemaker :)
God, I'm so tired today!
Take care
Song of the day: Sweet Love - Anita Baker
Spoke to Dr C on Friday. He seems kind of determined to help me find a job, which is nice but... I really don't know what to think.
I found a job that interested me at Handelshogskola where he did his MBA. SO I asked him for some background information about the school. He called med back after having done some serious research with a bunch of names of people I should talk to.
On Friday he called me back again after having spoken to some more people...
It's not that I don't appreciate his help - I really do but I feel a bit odd about all the effort he is putting into this. Hannah thinks I should keep "a door open" for him because she is convinced that he is doing all this to impress me enough to take him back. I do want him in my life but may be not as a boyfriend more like a friend.
After all he is a genuinely kind person and I don't think he would do anything to hurt me.
We are, however, totally different and have very different interests.
Gave in to my lower instincts on Friday and met my bootycall J ;) We had fun but some of the magic is gone now... Spent Friday night at home, mad a nice meal for myself and had some wine. Saturday fierce gal-pal Gonzo and me had brunch at Clarion hotel. A very nice brunch and we got to do some catching up. Afterwards we took a stroll around town in the sun and I found a great pair of shoes that I bought. Spring is really in the air now and it's so nice.
Saturday night was Maria's party. I got home in time to take a quick shower and change clothes. I wore my new shoes, they are slightly too big but I'll try to find some soles to put in them. The party was fun. They started out with a music quiz - an idea I intend to steal for our vacation - and then we had dinner. The food was ok, not more and not less. I was seated next to a guy I haven't met before but he was ok. I stayed until the end, as usual and then we went onto a pub but I didn't stay that long. Got home at around 2.30 and went to bed.
Today I went over to sis' place for dinner and some wine. We had a great time.
Tomorrow I'm having lunch with Ingrid EM. She is giving me an coffemaker :)
God, I'm so tired today!
Take care
Song of the day: Sweet Love - Anita Baker
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
After Easter
Survived Easter with a little help from my friends :)
Thursday was great, had the girls over for dinner and a lot of laughs and wine. Friday wasn't my best day...spent it doing laundry and puking ;) Finally managed to drag my sorry self to the pizzaplace and the videostore (Ali and Ocean's 12).
Saturday was better. Went over to dad to get some help doing my taxreturns. Since I sold my old apartment last year it's oh so complicated this year... Need to dig up some old papers from the sale to get the numbers right. If I don't I risk having to pay taxes for the profit I made on my apartment and I really don't want to do that. Spent Saturday night with Hannah drinking champagne at Gondolen with a spectacular view over town. Stockholm is really beautiful, sometimes I forget that.
Would have been home at a decent hour, we left at 1 but no. Some idiots decided the subway was a great place to settle some differences so eventually the police was called in. Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting older but I keep wondering what these kids are doing out?
Sunday was the Big Family GetTogether. My cousins and their kids came over to my parents place since they have the biggest house. On the upside I only got the usual "aren't you going to have kids soon"-question once this time. My answer :" Oh no, I just broke up with my boyfriend" shut them up a bit. All in all there were 4 kids between 1,5 and 7 years of age there and all I could think of was when can I leave and go and have a drink...
Sunday night sis, her boyfriend and me went to the movies (Walk the Line 4,5/5). I think the boyfriend is kind of boring. So not the guy I'd see my sister with but what do I know...
He was nice enough to invite me to his birthday party in 2 weeks. This means I need to get him a present...
Today I made the final reservations for our summer holiday. We will spend one week on a river boat on the Canal Lateral de la Loire and then a few days in Paris :)
To drive the riverboat one does not need any experience, I mean how hard can it be. (Might be famous last words from my big mouth ;))
Once in Paris I'm going to Hediard and Fauchon and also Lavinia. The rest of the time I'll just stroll the streets and soak in the ambiance. I miss Paris!
Spring has arrived in Stockholm and with spring comes new spring shoes... I'm going into town tomorrow to find some.
Have spoken to Dr C twice since the big break up. He called again yesterday while I was training and just left a message. He was in my neighborhood and needed to find a restaurant.
I need to call him for some tips on a job that I'm applying for.
I don't really know which approach is the best: Break up and no contact what soever or break up and keeping in touch on a friendly bases?
Well, let's see what happens...
Take care!
Song of the day: Naughty Girl - Holly Valens
Thursday was great, had the girls over for dinner and a lot of laughs and wine. Friday wasn't my best day...spent it doing laundry and puking ;) Finally managed to drag my sorry self to the pizzaplace and the videostore (Ali and Ocean's 12).
Saturday was better. Went over to dad to get some help doing my taxreturns. Since I sold my old apartment last year it's oh so complicated this year... Need to dig up some old papers from the sale to get the numbers right. If I don't I risk having to pay taxes for the profit I made on my apartment and I really don't want to do that. Spent Saturday night with Hannah drinking champagne at Gondolen with a spectacular view over town. Stockholm is really beautiful, sometimes I forget that.
Would have been home at a decent hour, we left at 1 but no. Some idiots decided the subway was a great place to settle some differences so eventually the police was called in. Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting older but I keep wondering what these kids are doing out?
Sunday was the Big Family GetTogether. My cousins and their kids came over to my parents place since they have the biggest house. On the upside I only got the usual "aren't you going to have kids soon"-question once this time. My answer :" Oh no, I just broke up with my boyfriend" shut them up a bit. All in all there were 4 kids between 1,5 and 7 years of age there and all I could think of was when can I leave and go and have a drink...
Sunday night sis, her boyfriend and me went to the movies (Walk the Line 4,5/5). I think the boyfriend is kind of boring. So not the guy I'd see my sister with but what do I know...
He was nice enough to invite me to his birthday party in 2 weeks. This means I need to get him a present...
Today I made the final reservations for our summer holiday. We will spend one week on a river boat on the Canal Lateral de la Loire and then a few days in Paris :)
To drive the riverboat one does not need any experience, I mean how hard can it be. (Might be famous last words from my big mouth ;))
Once in Paris I'm going to Hediard and Fauchon and also Lavinia. The rest of the time I'll just stroll the streets and soak in the ambiance. I miss Paris!
Spring has arrived in Stockholm and with spring comes new spring shoes... I'm going into town tomorrow to find some.
Have spoken to Dr C twice since the big break up. He called again yesterday while I was training and just left a message. He was in my neighborhood and needed to find a restaurant.
I need to call him for some tips on a job that I'm applying for.
I don't really know which approach is the best: Break up and no contact what soever or break up and keeping in touch on a friendly bases?
Well, let's see what happens...
Take care!
Song of the day: Naughty Girl - Holly Valens
Friday, April 14, 2006
Red red wine
This has not been my best day. Had the girls over for dinner yesterday and the four of us managed to down 6 bottles of wine. But we had a nice dinner with plenty of laughs and some dancing too :)
Today I have been on the couch all day wondering why it seemed like a good idea to have a dry martini at 2.30 in the morning...
Now I'm dying for a pizza, a good movie and plenty of water...
The lunch with Dr C went surprisingly well. He was extremely charming and cute like he can be and we had a good time. He has started to get some furniture in his apartment, sounds like it will be very nice once he is done. I promised to check out some place where he can get some second hand furniture.
Sunday I'm meeting the rest of my family. My mum is hosting a big familylunch at their place. My cousins, the boring crowd, will be there. Can't say I'm looking forward to it but afterwards me and sis and some friends are going to go dancing at a gayclub. It is usually so much fun there so that part of Sunday I'm looking forward to.
Happy Easter everyone
Song of the day: Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Today I have been on the couch all day wondering why it seemed like a good idea to have a dry martini at 2.30 in the morning...
Now I'm dying for a pizza, a good movie and plenty of water...
The lunch with Dr C went surprisingly well. He was extremely charming and cute like he can be and we had a good time. He has started to get some furniture in his apartment, sounds like it will be very nice once he is done. I promised to check out some place where he can get some second hand furniture.
Sunday I'm meeting the rest of my family. My mum is hosting a big familylunch at their place. My cousins, the boring crowd, will be there. Can't say I'm looking forward to it but afterwards me and sis and some friends are going to go dancing at a gayclub. It is usually so much fun there so that part of Sunday I'm looking forward to.
Happy Easter everyone
Song of the day: Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Closure
Just talked to Dr C on the phone. We are meeting for lunch tomorrow and it's safe to say that I'm NOT looking forward to it... I thought that I would need some sort of closure and to say good bye properly therefore I insisted that I needed my stuff back from his place. I just left a make up remover and a facecream that I don't really need. But now we are meeting for lunch.
I feel mostly relieved now. No more questions and constant wondering...
Actually talking to him was nice so I had, for a split second, some second thought but then I tried to tell him what I'm up to and he is totally uninterested, just like he was before so no second thoughts :)
I found a fab job that I applied for today at a brand new hotel that is opening soon. Apparently is will be a so called boutique hotel. Sounds very nice. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Am actually back at the dating site again, mostly for fun this time around and a 23-year old asked me out. I mean he is almost 10 years younger than me...a bit too young actually.
Uber cool blogger buddy Steph wrote the funniest thing about her boss actually going down on a stripper at a hen-night. Seriously, that is just so nasty!!
Thursday I having some friends over forEasterr dinner. Will be so nice!
I reallyreallyy have the best friends anyone could wish for and even if I don't always say it I appreciate them every day.
And HUGE thanks to all my blogger buddies for support and kind words!!
Take care!
Song of the day: Clean Depeche Mode
I feel mostly relieved now. No more questions and constant wondering...
Actually talking to him was nice so I had, for a split second, some second thought but then I tried to tell him what I'm up to and he is totally uninterested, just like he was before so no second thoughts :)
I found a fab job that I applied for today at a brand new hotel that is opening soon. Apparently is will be a so called boutique hotel. Sounds very nice. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Am actually back at the dating site again, mostly for fun this time around and a 23-year old asked me out. I mean he is almost 10 years younger than me...a bit too young actually.
Uber cool blogger buddy Steph wrote the funniest thing about her boss actually going down on a stripper at a hen-night. Seriously, that is just so nasty!!
Thursday I having some friends over forEasterr dinner. Will be so nice!
I reallyreallyy have the best friends anyone could wish for and even if I don't always say it I appreciate them every day.
And HUGE thanks to all my blogger buddies for support and kind words!!
Take care!
Song of the day: Clean Depeche Mode
Monday, April 10, 2006
Moved on
I moved on from Dr C very quickly... maybe to quickly. I feel fine actually but I keep thinking that all this will catch up with me and I'll breakdown. But somehow I don't think so. Now there is no more drama, no constant wondering about what is going on...
Like girlfriend T said "Now there is nothing to worry about" And I realized that I have been worried for the last 3 months. Not a really great way to live.
Had a great time this week end. Thursday I had dinner with some friends. We had some really nice conversations about most thing like life and love and work...
Friday I met up with the rest of the EC-crowd at a place called Cliff Barnes (remember the guy from Dallas??). I have never been there before but it was quite cool. At around 11 o'clock they turned on the music and there was some serious dancing... People basically danced everywhere and it was so hot!! Once they closed we went onto Storstad for some more drink. Quick pit stop at McDonalds and then home to bed.
Saturday an all-girl dinner at PLF's place. She is really a great cook and it was nice to meet all the girls again.
Sunday was wonderfully sunny so Hannah and me strolled round town and then had some wine at a nice bar. When I came home... a bit tipsy I rented King Kong (3/5) and had dinner.
Today I met with a really nice guy from SC. We had lunch at a place that would be perfect for Hannahs graduationparty in September. I have some really fierce ideas for the party but I need to check out how traditional is has to be.
Better get back to writing my jobapplications
Take care!
Song of the day: Blind leading the blind - Mick Jagger & Dave Stewart
Like girlfriend T said "Now there is nothing to worry about" And I realized that I have been worried for the last 3 months. Not a really great way to live.
Had a great time this week end. Thursday I had dinner with some friends. We had some really nice conversations about most thing like life and love and work...
Friday I met up with the rest of the EC-crowd at a place called Cliff Barnes (remember the guy from Dallas??). I have never been there before but it was quite cool. At around 11 o'clock they turned on the music and there was some serious dancing... People basically danced everywhere and it was so hot!! Once they closed we went onto Storstad for some more drink. Quick pit stop at McDonalds and then home to bed.
Saturday an all-girl dinner at PLF's place. She is really a great cook and it was nice to meet all the girls again.
Sunday was wonderfully sunny so Hannah and me strolled round town and then had some wine at a nice bar. When I came home... a bit tipsy I rented King Kong (3/5) and had dinner.
Today I met with a really nice guy from SC. We had lunch at a place that would be perfect for Hannahs graduationparty in September. I have some really fierce ideas for the party but I need to check out how traditional is has to be.
Better get back to writing my jobapplications
Take care!
Song of the day: Blind leading the blind - Mick Jagger & Dave Stewart
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Goodbye Dr C
Dr C just left my place and we broke up.
It was very dignified, no arguments and no tears - no drama. Kind of like our relationships has been.
I feel... mostly empty. He is after all someone I've spent quite a lot of time with and I will probably never see him again (Well, I'll see him once more since I have some stuff I need to pick up at his place).
We weren't eachothers perfect match but I don't feel like I've made a mistake dating him and I will miss him for a while. This guy I will remember fondly, really I will. He is a nice guy but but MY nice guy.
I probably will be sad and cry once all the information has sunk in but right now I'm ok. There will obviously be ups and downs but life goes on and I'll go with it. And I obviously will be wearing fabulous shoes as I go ;)
"Though lovers be lost, love shall not be"
Take care!
Song of the day: Separated - Usher
It was very dignified, no arguments and no tears - no drama. Kind of like our relationships has been.
I feel... mostly empty. He is after all someone I've spent quite a lot of time with and I will probably never see him again (Well, I'll see him once more since I have some stuff I need to pick up at his place).
We weren't eachothers perfect match but I don't feel like I've made a mistake dating him and I will miss him for a while. This guy I will remember fondly, really I will. He is a nice guy but but MY nice guy.
I probably will be sad and cry once all the information has sunk in but right now I'm ok. There will obviously be ups and downs but life goes on and I'll go with it. And I obviously will be wearing fabulous shoes as I go ;)
"Though lovers be lost, love shall not be"
Take care!
Song of the day: Separated - Usher
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